When Jill (my mom) was pregnant with me, she tells of the time she told my dad she just couldn’t imagine loving this new baby as much as Cory, my brother and the first born (you crazy first-borners always steal the show!). My dad was shocked (maybe a little dumb-founded, too) and couldn’t imagine how she couldn’t love another baby. How could you not want to love your new child? She remembers feeling so guilty for thinking and even saying the words out-loud. It wasn’t that she planned on not loving me at ALL, she just couldn’t imagine loving me AS MUCH and as intensely as her first. She had such an immense love for that first born son of hers. And well you know the rest of the story…the second I was born, all those feelings of inadequately loving me washed right away. She was smitten with a screaming double dimpled almost 9lb baby. And she loved me just as much as her first. I think maybe it was different. But only because I was different. It was unique and just as special as the first go around. She had all those bubbly-googly-gaggly feelings about me just as she did my brother. And you know, I’m SO glad that she’s always shared that story with me. Because now as a mom, myself, of a 19 month old boy, the thought crosses my mind, too. How could I ever love another baby as much as this one? He’s so perfect, and scrumptious, and delicious, and smart, and handsome, and all the best baby adjectives in the world. And my husband, thinks I’m nuts, too, for not comprehending more love. I’m so glad she’s given this thought much light. I don’t feel guilty, because I know the minute my husband and I have another, I’ll wonder why or how I could ever think that, too. Isn’t it crazy how our love can grow so much more than what we ever thought humanly possible? Isn’t it crazy how much we can love? Isn’t it crazy? Isn’t it crazy, friends?
